I'm happy to have resisted the urge to absoulutely define myself as one thing or another in terms of the healing world. I'm in no way unique. In my world I look around at my fellows and see that they too are Seekers like me. My universe nick-name is Drifting Spirit or (Hsein Dao in Chinese) meaning much the same. Taking stops along lifes path to recognize a new teacher, take on a little more family and continue my path of making my Dharmic wellness great.
I am in a Shamanic Apprenticeship as of late. With my Shamanic Teacher Sheila I was discussing the concept of the Shadow Self for which I have been taught methods of Healing Shadow self and other things with the practice of Reiki and Meditative extraction. I think the universally functional definition of Shadow Self is: That part of a person that may contain charactaristics and old habits we have found to be unsavory or from ourselves unlikely to contribute well to ourselves and the world.
Through lift I have discovered many ways of looking at this guy- my shadow self. As a child, Christianity told me that these were sins that I must repent or burn for. Um--- I think not, but I sure have felt ashamed of (my dark side).
My life in Sobriety and my trip through the 12 steps of AA taught me to hunt them down, stare my "character defects in the face", and make amends and ask for God-as I understand God to remove them.
My life in Vedantia simply says, its Karma and once passed there's no reason to re ring the same bell. Just move on and live well.
My Karuna Reiki Teacher William taught us to meet our shadow self. Treat it as a totally seperate being, ask it if there are parts of it that still do serve you and make the choice to embrace parts of this Self or let other parts simply float away like rays of light returning to the sun.
The Imetus for this post is a discussion with my new dear Shamanic Teacher, Sheila. If I understand her correctly, the Shadow Self as much as it needs to be dealt with should be dismissed in it's entirety. Discovered through the act of journeying, those defects of character can be brought up and dismissed by learning the lessons therin.
This post, and the reason I write, blog and create poetry is my way of putting these things in black and white.
Honestly as I pen down the things I find unsavory about me, I'm not sure wheather to save it, burn it or eat the page. The whole business of looking yourself in the eye and drummin up all that crap can be a messy business is painful and quite honestly feel that the only time we should revisit our own stuff is to help mend the harm we've done others. As the Big Book of AA says "Clear away the wreckage of my past." or "we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it". I still have to wonder if these two statements are diametrically opposed to one another?
As I mentioned, I am a seeker not for the purpose of drifting around looking for a new truth that suits me but because all of these traditions and methods have taught lessons on how to deal with myself.
For now I'll observe closely to see what this journey teaches me about dealing with my dark side. I know the lessons I learn here are inspired by the Universal Spirit as are all the lessons in life. I quite enjoy reexamining my belief system as I disassemble and reassemble Me into a better more modern shiny model of myself, I will be then better to run out and save the world.
Aho, Shanti, Nomaste, Amen!